Speckles
by littlegreenweirdo123
Summary: Who says there aren't papparrazi out there just for the Gods? And who says they don't manage to catch Percy in a pretty, er, weird moment? And who says all hell isn't going to break loose? The story of one fish, and a heck-load of trouble.
1. Chapter 1

Speckles. Not the everyday name for your average marlin, but maybe that was because Speckles wasn't your average fish. His story began _way _back, when he squealed on Theseus and Ariadne, and he dumped her on a beach as a result. Oops. He didn't mean that. At all.

So of course, Speckles reported to Lord Poseidon every time the turtles began their yearly migration, namely because the Lord of the Sea liked to remind him to please, please, be less of a gossip. Not that it worked, mind you. Nope, Speckles got picked up by Aphrodite for her new reality show, _Hero or Zero?, _which made its appearance every Thursday at 4pm Olympian time on Hephaestus TV. It was fun, zooming around the-gods-know-where, spying on all the children _his_ viewers had sired. The only downside was the camera that he had to keep strapped to his right flipper. Not that he was complaining or anything. Being paid to spread juicy stuff like this? Speckles the marlin was living the life.

So of course, Speckles was _not_ happy when he had to take a break from stalking, er, shooting, the demigods at Half-Blood Hill. Never mind the fact that the waters were always cold, and that a campers were always splashing around in it. Speckles did know, however, that there were three things a marlin had to do in life: Die, pay taxes, and never, ever, offend Lord Poseidon, especially if you're a fish. It was hard to work for Aphrodite, especially because ratings for the show kept on dropping thanks to a lack interesting demigods to follow around with a camera.

If a fish could sigh, Speckles would have as he headed for the P-man's palace in Nassau, swimming as fast as he could through the Sea of Monsters. Well, technically he was supposed to swim around, but a paparazzo must always know how to save time. Plus, he'd run into Apollo, who told him something like this:

_Little marlin swims_

_He carries a camera_

_To the Sea of Monsters._

Ahem, haiku-ness aside, Speckles decided, sure, why not? Maybe he'd catch another one of those marooned princesses being rescued by a hero, or something. Or maybe not. Something like that hadn't happened since Perseus and Andromeda.

Speaking of Perseus…

Of course, Speckles recognized him immediately. His producers had made him study mug-shots of all two hundred forty-seven half-bloods, with one more on the way thanks to a crazy night out partying on Hermes' side. Black hair that should have been cut weeks ago; big, greenish-blue eyes; straight, Grecian nose; and tan that seemed to be his skin tone by default. Oh, and the fact that he was floating around under the sea in a giant air bubble.

_Yes! Finally!_ Aphrondite had wanted to do a special about the young hero, hoping it'd boost the ratings, but so far, Percy Jackson had proved elusive. If Speckles could reach his camera, he would have given it a hug and a kiss. He inched closer, making sure the tape was rolling.

_Ooooh!_ Was that a girl he was with?! And he was cuddled up with her too! This was great, no, not great, _epic._ All he needed was a side shot of the blonde, and he could have Hermes Google her up. He swam around the bubble, or as he preferred to think, the Son of the Sea God's little romantic rendezvous spot. _Promotion! Promotion!_ Speckles practically sang to himself, thinking over all the possibilities.

_"Scram!"_ Percy glared at him with intense, sea green eyes.

Speckles gulped. No way was he risking his fins over a video. Nope, he was scramming.

Or at least getting out of his line of fire.

He gleefully followed the two, keeping his camera steady. _Oooh! A boat!_ This was great. A boating date! That was _so_ Sea God, and _so _cute!

Then he remembered. Audience with Poseidon. Right. Reluctantly, Speckles turned around, and swam off to the Bahamas.

And after that, the TV studio.

And then, the world.

* * *

A/N: Man, this is fun. Percy's gonna be pissed, and so's everyone else. I'll be back with more chapters….sooner or later. I've got another fanfic for Narnia to finish….


	2. Chapter 2

Before the doorbell even rings, I've already reapplied my makeup, and I'm sitting there waiting on the chaise lounge. It's one of the best parts about being a goddess. You're usually never, ever, caught without your makeup.

Eros flies in, carrying a fish tank, so I know it must be Speckles coming to show me his newest video. It better be a good one. He _thought_ he caught one of Artemis' Hunters getting a milkshake with a boy once, when he was really her older brother. I got a lawsuit for that one. A lawsuit! That's what happens when a goddess decides to never fall in love. She's bound to be all bitter and serious all the time. Believe me. I could tell you stories about Athena before she met Odysseus.

Ahem. Back to topic. Speckles. Right.

"Anything good worth putting up, Speckles?"

He practically does a flip in the air in excitement. "Oh yes, you're loveliness. You will never guess who I got a video of!"

"_I _will never guess?" Please. I'm a goddess.

"Well, you will. It's a figure of speech, you're exquisiteness." He says quickly.

"Hmmm…ooh! Did one of the Hephaestus beasts fall for a one of Apollo's?"

"Er, no."

"And he's going unrequited, and he's making her pretty little things everyday!" It really is that funny. One of those children of my husband's couldn't find a date if they had a GPS and a metal detector.

"I caught _Percy Jackson!_" He swims around the tank in a flurry of excitement.

"So?" I was expecting something good. Seriously. Old Seaweed's kid does two things: train, and sleep. I don't know if he eats or not. A lot of my sons and daughters don't. They have to preserve their figures, don't they?

"At the bottom of Siren Bay!"

"So?" I would frown, but frown lines are horrible for your face. He's Son of the Sea God. Where's he supposed to be, driving Apollo's sun-car?

"With some blonde girl!" Speckles adds, almost beside himself with glee.

"Well. That changes everything! Show me!" I run into the TV room, fairly cackling with delight. Wait, forget I said that. The Goddess of Love and Beauty does not cackle.

"Um, your beautifulness, I need lift." Speckles says a tad meekly. Poor dear. It must be terrible to be a fish.

And so, Speckles and I sit down and enjoy the video. I even conjure up some popcorn. It's not exactly Steven Spielberg, him being a fish, and floating in around in the Sea of Monsters, no less, but it's clear enough. "And who's that girl?" I point at the screen, and…OH MY GODS!! My nail varnish is chipped. That has to be fixed now or else…you know what? This is more important, I decide.

I mean, just wait until this news gets out. We'll get the highest ratings EVER, like, we'll probably beat out that exposé on the unsanitary cafeteria food in the Cyclopes forges. And let me hand it to him, that Perry or Peter or whatever, he's smart. Like, an air bubble in the middle of the Caribbean? If I had one of those, my sad excuse of a husband would never find me and Are-whoops.

"I don't know," Admits Speckles. "I was hoping Hermes would."

I think about it. Name or no name, this could make headlines. But still…I snap my fingers, and my brother shows up, caduceus and all.

"You called?" He bowed nimbly; even though I sometimes get the feeling he's mocking me.

"I was just wondering," I say, giving him my most dazzling smile. If he weren't a god, I suspect he would have melted. "If you knew who that girl is." I pointed at the picture on the screen, zoomed in on the blonde's, and just the blonde's face. I don't want _him_ to say he saw it all first.

"Oh. I would know that face anywhere," He says, "Annabeth Chase, just went on a quest with Percy Jackson."

"So she's a demigod." I say, pushing for an answer.

"Yeah, she's one of Athena's favorite children, up there with George Washington." He prods at his pager. "Can I go now?"

"Sure, of course." I wave him away. There are far more important things to worry about, now.

Athena and Poseidon's kids together. Now that's going to make news! I can already imagine the tabloids _flocking_ to get a quote or two from me. This'll probably even edge out the news that Angelina Jolie's twins actually belong to Apollo.

And now, to the studio.


	3. Chapter 3

The news caused a minor explosion on Mount Olympus. Well. That was the literal one. The figurative one was _huge. _Strangely enough, instead of getting a yacht and penthouse like he felt he should, Speckles had ended up living in a plastic fishbowl inside Apollo's very _messy_ bachelor pad of a living room. Journalists, they lead hard lives, they do.

Not that he was complaining, though. The truth is not always the most popular of things. But the truth is the truth. Speckles was sure that someday, he would earn himself a Pulitzer Prize for his efforts. As of now, he would just have to live the hard life.

* * *

Athena couldn't have been busier when that annoying bimbo and her fishy accomplice released the news. Now, being to goddess of wisdom and whatnot, she was busy everyday, mostly with fervent pleas for help on solving Rubik's Cubes, but it that week just happened to be AP Exam week, and worried test takers practically overwhelmed her with plea deals. ("If I get a 5, I promise, I will name a sandwich after you"). She was already at her wit's end, and the news was just about enough to send the goddess into a fit of rage that, of course, caused the minor explosion. She clapped on her helmet, and made a beeline towards Poseidon's palace.

* * *

"Whaddaya mean my son was seducing your daughter?" Poseidon asked, waving his trident about as if it were a magic wand (which is technically was).

"I told you, I saw the pictures. Hermes may have invented Photoshop, but I'm too _wise_ for that." She jabbed at him accusingly. "Your son was seducing me daughter."

"Gee, how old is he? Thirteen? You expect a thirteen year old to be trying to _seduce_ people?"

"MTV can do wonders to a child's maturity." She pointed out.

Poseidon coughed, making a sound that, oddly enough, seemed to sound like _Photoshop._

Athena glared it him, making sure that the sea god cringed before she unfurrowed her brows.

"I don't like this, Barnacle Beard. I'm sure you don't either."

Poseidon scratched his (un-barnacle bearded) chin thoughtfully. "No. I don't, but I want to see the proof first."

She dropped a copy of _The Olympian_ at his feet, sure that if a tabloid front page wasn't enough, nothing would be.

He shrugged. "So. It's a tabloid. That could be a shot of "Titanic II" for all we know."

"A second Titanic movie? That salt water's gone to your head, Seaweed Brain." She poked at his chest accusingly. "That's my daughter and your idiot son."

"I don't like this." Poseidon said, taking a closer look at the picture. "That underwater bubble? Only a son of mine would have awesome powers like that. He should charge rent for letting your daughter use it."

"So I was right about that being your spawn." Athena said, glaring daggers at him.

"I must object to your usage of 'spawn', but other than that, I see what you mean."

"Where are they right now?" Athena demanded.

"Not Vegas, please not Vegas." He mumbled to himself.

"No, not Vegas." She agreed, crossing her arms. "So? Where are they?"

Poseidon lowered his head. "I don't know." He muttered.

"You don't know." She said reproachfully. "You, the Great God of the Sea, do not know where his own son is."

"Quest." He mumbled. "Y'know, can't find heroes on quests, you know that."

"I _do_ know." Athena said, furious. "Chiron is losing his tail over this."

"Chiron never sent them on the Quest," Poseidon said, a trace of smugness in his voice. "Your brother did."

"Who?"

"The guy with the Bluetooth." He said sourly, "There's no way we can stop them, pretty much."

"_Hermes_ sent my daughter off on a trip with your son? My daughter. Your son. And no chaperone?"

"They're heroes, not preschoolers on a trip to the petting zoo."

"They happen to be hormonal teenagers that are also the opposite gender."

"I'm sure everything will turn out fine." He reassured her, not sounding very convinced himself.

"They had better." Athena grumbled, turning around to storm out of Poseidon's castle.

He could hear snippets of her mumbling to herself as she trotted down the path. "Eternal vengeance" and "all in my power" did not sit well with the God of the Sea. He himself had no problem with waving away the accusations. After all, as disastrous as it all was, Percy wouldn't do anything stupid, would he?


End file.
